Spirit: Green-eyed monster

At a time in my life (40's) when I should be accepting who I am , my body, my life and my worldly possessions, I find that I am often consumed with what I do not have, what I have not achieved, how unattractive I feel and how little I have experienced.  I look at younger people and envy their position in life. I often wax philosophically about how the world is open to the young to decide how to live their life.  ...   I desperately want to be satisfied and struggle to feel good about so much in my life, even though I know that I am very blessed in many ways. Maybe it is a mid-life crisis, maybe it is a need for a deeper spiritual connection to our Heavenly Father. Maybe I really need to change my life!!! oh no! not that. Can you say comfortable????? 


If you have ever seen a thin, fit, long haired beauty stroll into the room with cute shorts and a tank while you are wearing loose capris and a boxy tee and felt less than then you have felt the tug of jealousy that I am feeling way too often these days. 


Jealousy robs me of Joy! I know this-  Does that make it easier not to feel this way ---- No


Here is a verse from Proverbs 14:30 to digest: 

A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.

Well now,  (in the church lady's voice) "Isn't that special?" The truth hurts. I am going to focus on the things that I am grateful for and try to change some habits that are holding me back.  

My time to be young has passed, my time to live a content, meaningful, healthy life has NOT passed- maybe it is just beginning. 

I hope to spend time this week working on my tendency toward envy through meditation on positives, and prayer. Definitely going to be studying the Word on defeating the green-eyed monster now that I have become aware of what it is taking from me. I want to  accept myself in this phase of life. Time to grow into my age and love it. :-)

Please join me in prayer - pray for me to grow in contentment, and acceptance but also for yourself to grow more peaceful and joyful as well. I will pray that anyone who reads this will find abundance in their life through gaining a more positive perspective.

Mind/Body/ Spirit - Life is moving fast

My Life at this time: 

Lots of GroupRide classes and Zumba classes. 

My son Jake who is now 18 has had a lot going on this past month- Prom, Academic Awards Banquet and getting ready to graduate. Exciting time - He received an academic scholarship to the University of Tennessee. I am so proud and I look forward to seeing what the future holds for my baby :-)

I spend a lot of time with my friend Martie! She has become such a close friend in the last year. We work out together, go out to dinner, we text and call each other. I thank God for our friendship. 

My other son Logan who is 15 (and doing a lot of driving with my husband and myself) is looking forward to having his driver's license in August. We also have to schedule a necessary surgery for Logan (his anterior labrum is torn)- for June. This means he will  miss his junior year of football. Prayers appreciated. 

Field day is coming up this week for me and it is really going to take place over 3 school days. Wed. Thurs. and Friday. I am stressed to the max - trying to plan it, organize it and run it to an entire school family's satisfaction. ----- Next weekend I will feel like a weight has lifted. My last day of teaching for this school year is May 25 because... 

We are going to Madeira Beach on the 26th!!!!! Bring it! It will be my first time flying on an airplane. This trip is a surprise for Jake for doing so great all these years in school. 

It will be so wonderful to have all 3 of the people I love the most in the whole world all together one more time for vacation. Cannot wait! 




I am trying to lose weight by eating healthy (less than 1250 net calories a day) - and exercising a lot. I try to be a great Mother, wife, teacher, friend, daughter, sister, aunt and also try to keep learning more about Jesus Christ and my purpose here through bible study and prayer. 


Yes, life is moving fast and my plate is full- but I do feel that I am blessed to have my life. 
Your life is made up of all the small daily decisions that you make. Live in a way that you feel peaceful about. Do your best in every endeavor and you will not regret it. Have a glorious weekend!

Mind/Spirit: God's punishment should be feared

The above picture is a depiction of Ananias and Paul from Acts chapter 5. The story goes that Ananias and his wife Sapphira sold property and were to give 100% of the profit to the church. They withheld some from Paul and then lied about it. Peter questioned Ananias and reported his evil choice exposing the deed. Here is an excerpt from that book of  the Holy Bible: Acts 5: ³ Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? ⁴Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied just to human beings but to God.”⁵ When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died. And great fear seized all who heard what had happened. ⁶ Then some young men came forward, wrapped up his body, and carried him out and buried him.

 ⁷ About three hours later his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. ⁸ Peter asked her, “Tell me, is this the price you and Ananias got for the land?”

   “Yes,” she said, “that is the price.”

 ⁹ Peter said to her, “How could you conspire to test the Spirit of the Lord? Listen! The feet of the men who buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out also.”

 ¹⁰ At that moment she fell down at his feet and died. Then the young men came in and, finding her dead, carried her out and buried her beside her husband. ¹¹ Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events.

Well here it is - God struck them dead because they knew better and they disobeyed while being so dishonest in the process of their questioning. Wow - maybe today we need to accept that God is going to punish us. Fear is a lost part of Christianity in our modern society. We are told over and over how merciful God is - but don't you think  a good healthy dose of fear is good in the light of our sinful society? I believe that just as we look at prayer and some blessings bestowed upon us as coincidental, so do we also look at misfortunes as coincidental. Maybe God punishes us with different types of hardships and we do not want to think of God that way. Here is the way I think of it; I believe God either punishes to correct us or to warn us. I think some punishments are built in- what I mean is physical burdens from gluttony, over-indulgence in alcohol, some sexual sins, etc. We have punishments that are physically painful from misuse of food, alcohol, medicines, sexual actions and even though we suffer some of us continue in one area or another. It is the great lie that the immediate gratification of any overindulgence is worth the damage done to our body. The warning punishments might just be something that gets our attention - like a fender bender, or in the form of other minor hard situations that gets you off one path and thinking about your choices.  Who knows? but I think we need to be more observant of those stories in the Holy Bible in which someone is being punished by God in a corrective fashion. We also  need to embrace the fact that God is not just punishing people by casting them into Hell at the end of their life, but is punishing them along the road of their life to give them opportunities to change, and live in obedience and enjoy the life that He has planned for us. 

One last thought- 

God instructs us through His Word and the Holy Spirit.

God lays down laws to keep (The Commandments).

God shows mercy when we turn from sin and repent. 

God punishes when we stay stubbornly in our sin and lie about our disobedience (denial).

God rewards the obedient Christian that embraces correction and strives to walk righteously through this journey. 

Romans 2:13 Not the hearers of the law are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified.   amen!

Mind: use of the word "love"

It has been on my mind during this holiday season how much I and others use the word "love" to describe unimportant objects, foods, entertainment etc. I have been guilty of this practice myself, and just the other day was giving such high praise to a popsicle--- yes- a popsicle! This was my first notice of such absurdity. I began to notice I labeled a lot of idiotic things with such affections. It popped out of my mouth how much I loved an ornament that I was just seeing for the first time and could hardly have had time to have really fallen  in love with... hmmmm. You laugh but haven't you in fact been throwing this precious word around with such frivolity that a clown would stop and say "wow that's funny"?
I personally pledge to change this habit; I recognize that "I really enjoy____", or "that is my favorite_____", or "I do like that kind very much" will suffice for such everyday pleasures as food, movies, songs, & decorative objects. I also will reserve the word "love" for the people in my life. I am pretty sure that in the Bible that Love was not thrown around in reference to sheep, manna or any other objects. When God uses the word "love" it is a powerful word, and I believe that it was powerful because it was reserved for only the deepest emotional connection that  human beings can feel. It is used in reference to an undying, devoted, sacrificial, beautiful, special feeling that promotes acts of caring for other people.
Don't you think that if we find ourselves saying "I love pickles", that this takes away some of the beauty and strength of the word "love"? I do.

And remember; from this point forward if I say "I love you" it means more than what I can feel for everyday objects that I encounter. Maybe if this special word was used only when it was appropriate then we would get more internal value when other's extol it upon us. Just a thought...

Spirit:Thankfulness

Thankful Lips :
I will extol the Lord
at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
(Psalm 34:1)
Through Jesus, therefore,
let us continually
offer to God
a sacrifice of praise –
the fruit of lips
that confess his name.
(Hebrews 13:15)

I am at a much better place in my life than I have been in for a long time.
I am thankful for my wonderful children and I am thankful that they are proud of me today.

They are proud of me because:

I have taken on a personal challenge to completely abstain from any alcohol for 110 days.

I am on day 40!

I was inspired by the show "I Used To Be Fat" on MTV. The teens are helped by a trainer for
110 days.

I was so moved by one trainer's declaration that a person that can go 110 days has broken a habit,

and is not held under (food's stronghold) - the trainer's proclamation that real change takes place in

this amount of time resonated with me. I made my own 110 day tear-off pad and hung it on my wall.

I have been tearing a sheet off every night before bed. I wrote little notes on some of the days- on today's

Day 40 (70 days to go) I jotted "your boys are very proud of you". I do not want anything unhealthy to

take the place of a closer relationship with God. I want to learn to turn to our Lord Jesus in times of stress,

and emotional distress. This is part of the journey - to test myself and prove to myself that I don't need

to have alcohol to live a good life. I do not believe there is anything wrong with having some drinks to

celebrate or socialize with- I just feel like when you are "using" it to alter consciousness and you feel like

you turn to alcohol instead of dealing with the problems that you have - It needs to be put aside.

I am thankful that I have a home, pets, healthy kids, safe neighborhood,

 good food, good relationships with my Dad, Brothers, and Mother,

 a husband to depend on,

and I am extremely thankful for a strong healthy body. I am also thankful that I get to give

and receive the Love of my family and friends over the holidays. -- I am very humbled

by how grateful I feel at this moment. Happy Thanksgiving!!

Spirit: perpetual dissatisfaction

In the book of Haggai from the Old Testament in the Holy Bible, the subject matter is taking place in the second year of King Darius' rule. God wanted the people to rebuild the temple that had been started about 14 years before and never finished. The people were living in nice homes while the temple sat in ruins. The people had apparently planted a large crop, planted large vineyards, made clothes from what they had and were upset that they did not have enough food, "drink", or clothes to meet their needs. Haggai informs them that as long as the temple is not built (disobedience) then they will Never have enough! The people were saying we can't build now we have to plant more, process more grapes, and make more clothes -- we are too busy to work on the temple! They had not connected that until they were obedient, God (the unseen hand) was not allowing them to reap the fullness of the harvest they had planted.

I am always saying that I do not feel fulfilled, and it seems I can never satisfy myself with food or anything else for that matter; this book of the bible really made me think about how I am like the people under Darius' rule, I am disobedient and keep thinking that I will live a more spiritual life later-- after I get this work done, or this exercise completed -- or I think I am too busy with managing a house, working out and going to a full time job to add anything spiritual to my life. But AHA! I am needing to build the metaphorical temple. I really feel that I need to be doing more conscious day to day seeking for what the Lord wants me to do. I believe this blog is an act of obedience to the Lord. But I also know I should be volunteering more and trying to be more thoughtful with others. I have a desire to sing as well.

 We are not going to get what we want out of life no matter how hard we try (planting, working, preparing, hoarding, holding on to cash) unless we do what God wants us to do -- when we tell God "wait" then he doesn't allow us to feel prosperous. I have heard so many stories about wealthy, but dissatisfied & empty people. I believe this is why!

Now I hope that you are inspired to  start building God's temple - not your own