I will be in them and you will be in me so that they will be completely one. Then the world will know that you sent me and that you loved me and that you loved them just as much as you loved me. John17:23
Amazing words from the Holy Bible! I am awestruck at the simplicity and the simultaneous complexity.
I think I have not truly digested the fact that God really loves me. I don't know if it is because I have had a rough life in many aspects or if I am truly a pessimist. It could be that my eyes have not opened fully to "get it".
I on a logical conscious level know that God must love me. However, I sometimes don't feel loved by really anyone. I am not sure if I have a hard time believing someone could love (truly love) someone like me. Certainly not God. Then I have moments where I really know that I am blessed and therefore must be loved.
I have been let down by so many people and have even felt let down by God although I am sure in the great scheme of things this is not the case.
Someone who doesn't really know me might take this next part wrong- but I am a humble person in so many ways. That I said to preface this: I do also accept that God has graced me with resilience and a strong body that was always able to play sports, dance and is healthy. My personality is mostly engaging and energetic and I have also been given average looks (which is probably really a blessing). God graced me with a good singing voice and a talent to work hard. God has also graced me with a talent for communicating. I know I have been blessed in the form of my friendships, my family (lots of lessons
:-D) and my beautiful, healthy, wonderful children.
I do know I have a lot of weaknesses and tend to primarily focus on them. I love the fact that Jesus can take over where I am weak -- If I will only let him. It is so difficult to fight the desire to be loved (adored) by people. I know that we really do not need to please people but hopefully one day I will only seek pleasing the Lord. I am not quite there yet.
In the meantime I shall meditate on the words "...you loved them just as much as you loved me" from the verse above.