We had a terrible backyard (our builder did not do right by us when we moved into our new home 3 yr.s ago). When we first moved in to our home the back yard was sloped (we could live with that) and it was covered with hay and supposedly had been given top-soil and heavily seeded. We were optimistic. (like a new married couple on their honeymoon when projecting hope toward the future). Well, after a while, we realized that all we had was a rock filled dirt pile of a yard in which some weeds were growing. It looked like this for about 2 years:
It has dawned on me during this process of now trying to improve the yard - that a bad yard is a metaphor for a bad marriage. You see you can start out with high hopes but if you do nothing to support growth you end up with a very unpleasant view of the world.
So what you don't do is -- just keep looking at it and complaining about it and keep hoping and praying it will all of sudden be what you want it to be. Dumb when you think about it...
What you do is this:
You nurture it- You use a good soil to help give the seeds what they need to flourish-
You also need help from friends and family because building things up takes alot of work:
You plant seeds by doing things with and for each other in marriage. Looking for resources, planning things to do together and doing them as a team. You also have to put safe-guards and boundaries in place. The netting on the yard keeps the ground from going somewhere that you don't want it to go and eventually away:
Then you water, water, water, and then water some more. If you are lucky God helps you through this process by sending some help your way.
In marriage water is the affection, adoration and attention that you give one another.
When the grass starts to come in -- you admire it and compliment it's strength and beauty and you appreciate that it is there!
I do know this ---
You could move and get another back yard (it will still need work maybe even more in the long run), you could move to a condo and not have a yard really (give up completely on it), or you could work at it and find out exactly what it needs to flourish and grow and then when it does start growing then you can feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.
But please remember walking around saying "this is awful - I hate this yard" and never doing anything will keep you stuck and you will still have a terrible yard.
But love ... is more than three words
mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action,
a pattern of devotion in the way we do for each
other every day.~ Nicholas Sparks