Image by Sean MacEntee via FlickrWhen real change happens you know it. I AM SURE OF God's hand on my life and the Holy Spirit's presence in my heart. The past 2 year's have taught me alot about forgiveness. I was stumbling through the darkness looking for the way out at times but I believe I am finding the lightness (happiness) again.
I am wanting to praise God for allowing me to keep my family together. I know that Satan was trying to tear my family apart and destroy our potential to grow into more productive people.
I also know that if it were not for Jesus' role in my life that I would have gone down a road that would have made my children's lives miserable. I am so thankful that God helped me stay strong. I had times that I came close to seeking revenge and teetered on the edge of annihilating my marriage, but there was a voice inside me (when even smothered by my drink of choice) still whispered "no". Infidelity is one of the worse betrayals to live through. Let me be frank, It hurts so bad. I believe it hurts even worse when you really love your spouse.
I hope my transparency here is encouraging to someone, instead of fodder for pity. I am willing to give all the credit to my Savior from this point forward for any positive growth in my family, home, and marriage. I will also relish the moments where I can say "too bad for you devil!!!". Yes! makes me want to dance and sing God's praises. Realizing that the Devil really wanted to destroy not only my positve destiny but my children's future too really got the Mama Bear in me ready to do what it took to fight for them. I mean I had to wrap my mind around the fact that this was real and really happening!
If I had made a different choice I would be filled up with more guilt than I could handle. This just creates more pain. The old adage 2 wrongs do not make a right is really true. The peace created in your heart from following the guidance inside you is always worth it.
I have regrets too, but know that I plan to clear a path from this day forward to put more creedance on my inner voice's (holy spirit inhabiting my body) validity . Really listen to your Savior because He loves you while Satan is the great deceiver and relishes your destruction.