Have you ever woke up and said to yourself "what is wrong with me?" Well I have --- this morning as a matter of fact. How can you know something so clearly and positively and yet do the opposite anyway?! I really know better! Things go so much better when you put God first- I know that I have certain triggers that once flipped send me landsliding (or backsliding shall we say). I want to be respected and then I act like a complete "lost" idiot sometimes. Paul wondered why we do what we do not want to do. Boy am I relating to that this morning. I argued and said things I should not have said and generally acted posessed :( Now I must deal with the apologizing and just working on my perspective. My kids are such a blessing and I need to focus on having a good party for my 13 yr. old --- that is turning 14. Iwant to exude a positive outlook today and put things behind me. Loose lips sink ships! A watchguard needs to have a permanent post at the gate of my mouth! I am doing a little soul-searching and bible searching this morning. Maybe Why? is not as important as Why not? The reasons that I should never act like that again is the Why not! The fact is that even if we say "I'm sorry" --- the bell cannot be unrung! I hope that my influence was insignificant and that a general understanding that I am really doing well and that we are making positive changes is evident from this point forward. Go forth and shine because this day is a blessing that we can choose to live in an upright manner.